I think I enjoy writing in this journal because I know very few people actually read it, and it somehow seems more private and not a cry for attention. In any case, I felt reflective tonight. I've been thinking back over the past few years and wishing I could do it all over again. I miss the way things were before my family was warring, and before I was so messed up by all the tragic events of the past two years. I think back in fondness of those times where I was more innocent, and less tainted by the harshness of reality. In my own way, I am proud of my gained cynicism, and my cold wisdom, but that doesn't mean I don't wish I could have obtained them by less emotionally jarring means.